MASALA JOKE 12

Joke: I Am Glad I Am A Man

So you’re glad you’re a chick? Well, I’m glad I’m a guy. So have a seat, missy, and I’ll tell ya why I’m so glad I’m a man, I could stand and applaud That I don’t have to live life as a broad. We do the same work, but I’m better paid. There’s honor and not shame for me when I get laid. I can get head in a restaurant booth. Mechanics will (usually) tell me the truth. I can go sit at a bar all alone Without twenty drunk losers inviting me home. Workmen and service men never do hassle me. Car CD players don’t simply baffle me. I can reach stuff hidden on the top shelf. I can change light bulbs all by myself. No one expects anything when I just flirt. I don’t have to wear dumb stuff like hose or a skirt. My underwear’s cotton, and three for eight bucks. Bras are expensive and WIRE - that sucks. I get to buy cool stuff like hammers and drills. You have to buy makeup and birth control pills. Never will I suffer from PMS. It takes me ten minutes to shower and dress. Three pair of shoes are more than enough. I don’t have a purse full of useless old stuff. None of my co-workers can make me cry. When someone fails to call, I don’t give a shit why. I never will need an electrician or plumber. I can date someone much younger and dumber. I’m GLAD I’m a guy, with two balls and a dick, So I don’t have to live life as a chick. I revel in guy-hood with joy I can’t squelch, And I’ll celebrate every scratch, every belch. I’m glad I’m a man, of that I am proud. I’m not at all bitchy, annoying and loud. I won’t try to squeeze in jeans three sizes too small. My credit card is still good when I leave from the mall. I won’t drink Diet Coke, or eat a rice cake. There’s no silicone here, my chest isn’t fake. My face isn’t “lifted,” my bra isn’t stuffed, I do what’s proper, I leave the toilet seat up. It doesn’t take hours to fix up my hair, I don’t see the need to use bathrooms in pairs. I won’t throw a tirade and then blame PMS. I’m a man and I’m glad I can deal with my stress. I have intuition, I never get lost. I share household duties, I won’t try to be the boss. I’m a man and with that comes a high sense of class, I won’t wear a swimsuit that rides up my ass. I won’t cry like a baby when Bambi gets shot I don’t make up false places, like the infamous “G-spot.” I won’t go out at night in a black mini-skirt, then slap anybody that just tries to flirt. You crazy women scare me, you have lots of gall, To make Lorena a hero for hacking off balls. Yes, I’m pleased to be male and I don’t mean to gloat. I’m sorry you don’t understand how to work the remote. I’ll never tease you, or play hard to get. If I don’t get my way, I won’t throw a fit. I don’t worry much about breaking a nail, My face without makeup isn’t distorted and pale. I’ll never say one thing while meaning another. When life gets real hard, I won’t run to my mother. In order to understand just who I am; You need a Y-chromosome; it’s what makes you a man.