MASALA JOKE 37

Joke: A True Pet Lover

You might be a true pet lover if….. …All your magazine subscriptions have animals on the cover. …Your dishwasher always has at least one pet dish in it. …Your vet gives you Christmas presents. …The manager of your local Pet Supermarket knows you by your first name. …You try to wear clothing that will blend with your pet’s hair. …You never sleep alone. …You make more trips to the groomer than to the barber/beautician. …You are more interested in the ingredients of your pet’s food than your own dinner. …You sign your correspondence with your pet’s name. …You get a babysitter for your kids but take your pet with you. …You sit down and know something is missing if either your lap is empty or your feet get cold. …You’ve ever felt sorry for people who don’t have a special critter friend. …You insist on correcting people who mis-pronounce your pet’s name. …You don’t freak at the sight of pig ears or cow hoofs lying around your home. …Your pet dresses better than you do. …Your pet has more beauty supplies than you do. …You always check your chairs, sofa, etc… for pet toys before you sit down. …In your living room is furniture just for your pet. …You look forward to the slobbery kisses from your dog when you come home from work. …You have a special site dedicated to your pet with tons of pictures. …You hesitate to call home and leave a message on your own answering machine for fear your pet will hear your voice and become distraught that you are not home. …You find yourself pulling pictures of your pets out of your wallet when others are showing pictures of their kids. …You watch only “animal kingdom” programs on cable television. …Frosty Paws (frozen dog dairy treat) has replaced low-fat ice-cream in your freezer. …You play holiday cassette music featuring only “singing dogs” with Jingles Bells topping your favorite tune. …You think the term “going to the dogs” is a compliment. …You decorate holiday stockings with the names of your pets and then wrap the contents so they’ll be surprised on Christmas day. …You match your throw rug colors when you pick them out, to match the color of the biggest dog in your family home. …If you buy more pet food than people food. …When you get home, you greet your dog first … then your spouse. …You have a king size bed and the dogs give you 12″ and your husband takes the rest. …The back seat of you car contains dog toys and the windows are full of nose prints. …You pick out your new linoleum for the kitchen based on how well it will hold up to dogs toenails skidding after their toys. …You would rather make homemade biscuits for your baby (puppy) than to give him those store bought ones. …When they say it’s time to turn off the lights… you finish watching TV in the dark. …Your animal has more toys than your children. …You decorate your home more for “cat friendly” rather than stylish. …You have no problem with the kitties sleeping in the clean laundry. …The colors black or white are completely eliminated from your wardrobe. …You carry tape in your purse and car for de-hairing clothes before meeting with “other” people. …When visiting friends, you focus more attention on their pet than them. …Houseguests are welcome to bring their pets but not their kids. …You can’t fall asleep without purring. …The house is messy if it’s your stuff strewn all over but it’s OK if it’s all pet toys. …The pet takes your favorite seat so you sit elsewhere and strain to see the TV. …Your pet has better health insurance than you. …You buy a car/truck to meet the needs of your pet. …You have a birthday party for your pet. …Your pet gets more birthday cards then you do. …You won’t date someone your pet dislikes. …You demand custody of the pet in the divorce settlement. …When you find yourself buying and reading more animal books than cookbooks! …You don’t think it is strange to brush your pet’s teeth regularly. …When you spend more on cat litter than you do on toilet paper.